Got an email from a friend this week. She moved to Arkansas in August, just in time to settle in and then have her town flooded with Katrina evacuees. She's been busy helping organize temporary lodging, and says that every church camp in and around her town is full. I'm a little envious of her, actually. I have a burning desire to be there in the thick of it, but I can't be.
So I've done everything I can do from here... organized donation drives, given all I can give financially, encouraged others to give, registered my home with every agency under the sun, registered with Nancy and our teenage daughters for Habitat for Humanity... but I want to do more. I want to do more NOW.
I feel like the smart kid in class who ALWAYS raises his hand with the answer. "I know! I know!" He bounces up and down in his seat, waving his arms frantically in the air, and still the teacher calls on someone else. I feel like I've been bouncing up and down, saying, "HERE I AM!! SEND ME!"... and I'm being ignored. And that frustrates me.
But Kama's email brought home a point I hadn't yet thought of. God WILL use me. I've offered, he's heard. It might be an easy task, it might be difficult. Am I ready? Am I REALLY ready?
Her sister is a high school math teacher in the Dallas area. WHen school started, she had 30 kids in her class - the state's maximum allowable number of students. With all the evacuees, and because the DISD can't afford to bus them all to other schools, they're all at HER school. SO now she has 45 kids in each class. THere aren't enough desks, so some of them sit on the floor. She deals with accusations of racism everyday from the kids who take their turns on the floor. She's 6 months pregnant. She's being pushed to her limit on our hourly basis. She's IN THE THICK of it.
I say I wanna be there, but do I really? Do I really? Am I being tethered because God has something planned for me here in Fort Worth? I don't know. I'll go, I'll stay. I'll keep waving my hand and bouncing in my seat. I just wish He'd hurry up and call on me already.