Thursday, October 25, 2007

just the facts, ma'am

The rules:
A. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names

I've been lazy about blogging. Today, I noticed on Nesa's blog that she tagged me, so here I go. Maybe this'll jumpstart me to start blogging daily again!

Six facts about me:

1. I'm a hard stick. Yep. I stopped giving blood because I got tired of being stuck several times, only to dry up and stop bleeding. I figured, if phlebotomists who spend their days drawing blood can't get me to bleed, who can? I had my annual physical yesterday, and the doc always checks my thyroid levels (I have a thyroid disorder)... so off to the lab I went. FIVE STICKS. They were finally able to get blood out of the the top of my left hand, in a vein right beside my ring finger knuckle. All the bruises are starting to surface today, and my hand is SORE! On top of that, I had a tetanus shot yesterday, and my arm still feels like lead.

2. I look young for my age. It's in my genes, I suppose. My parents neither one have gray hair yet, and Dad's 60 - Mom's 58. At the doctor yesterday, the nurse doing my stats commented that I don't look anywhere near 38. I still get carded regularly. I'll take it!

3. I always order the same thing. I can't help it. I WANT to get something different, I SAY I'm getting something different, I CHOOSE something different from the menu, but it never fails. As soon as the waiter walks up, I order the same ol'. At Chili's, it's the Chicken Crispers with gravy instead of honey mustard. And I always save the corn for last. IT'S the BEST corn on the cob I've ever had! At Macaroni Grill, I always ALWAYS get Penne Rustica. Always. At other restaurants, I manage to order outside the box, but not at these two.

4. I sleep like a dead person. I never hear the alarm clock, ever. I don't hear the kids. Last week, I didn't hear it when Nathan's friend was BANGING on the piano downstairs at 3:30 a.m.. It woke my kids up, but I didn't hear it. Darren used to have to wake me up to take care of the babies when they woke up for a feeding. As a kid, I slept through fire trucks sitting in our driveway, putting out a fire across the street. And I slept through an ice storm which caused a HUGE pecan branch to crack and fall, right outside my window. My parents heard it from their bedroom in the back of the house. I snoozed right through it.

5. I pray a lot, but I'm mostly a silent pray-er. I wear my faith on my sleeve, but I don't push it down others' throats. But I do pray a lot, usually when I'm in the car. For others, for me, for the world in general. I believe deeply in prayer. My "wishes" aren't always granted, but that's okay with me, because I believe that God hears my prayers, and answers with what's best for me in the long run. Even when I disagree or don't understand, I have faith that His wisdom and compassion and grace is good enough. And I'm glad it's not my job to understand.

6. I have to read at bedtime. No matter how tired I am, I must read. I've been known to read the back of a shampoo bottle when nothing else was available. Recently, I've taken up crosswords again; Darren's been printing out old NYTimes ones and I do THOSE at bedtime. They seem to reliably fill that "reading" need, at least for now.

I'm tagging the following six people:
1. Heidi
2. Tracy B
3. Martha C.
4. Veronica
5. Beth
6. Nancy D ('cause she claims she'd never blog if not for me. lol)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

things you learn at Open House

(click images to enlarge)

Things that make Aidan sad:
when Brendan calls him a doo doo butt. (His teacher said he's not allowed to say "butt", so he changed it to "head".)

Things that make Aidan happy:
apparently, Christmas. And people saying he's nice. He's exactly like me.

Yay for Nathan. Aidan considers him part of our family. (So do we, actually.)
But where is poor DANI?

I know that Aidan loves to read.
I know that he loves pasta.
I did NOT know that his favorite place to go is 7-11!
Let me tell you how HARD I cracked up in the classroom tonight, standing in front of this poster. All the other kids wrote "Six Flags", "Stars games", "the museum". One kid wrote Target. MY kid wrote 7-11. Ya know, it's just more proof that he's mine all mine. 7-11 sells Slurpees and CANDY! :) I'm happy to see that Dani has rejoined the family, but apparently, all of the Kocur men need haircuts.

The ant in this story refers to Aunt Bobbie. Here's to you, seester! We all miss you!


He and his friend Collin have it all planned out. At midnight, they'll walk to the stockyards. They'll wait for the train. Nevermind that it doesn't arrive until 10 tomorrow morning. Then they'll rob it and get off at Granbury. They haven't realized that it stays at Stockyards Station for a good while before turning right around and going back to Grapevine. Silly boys.

I said, "Aidan, your plan will never work. You're not allowed to go outside at night."
"I'll sneak out."
"Oh no you won't. You're not allowed."
"I will anyway."
"Oh. No. You. Won't. You're not allowed. And besides. You don't know how to get to the Stockyards."
"Collin's Mom will drive us."
"Ohhhh. So Collin's Mom is in on this little escapade?"
[giggling] "Yes!"
[with hand up to ear, as if on phone] "Collin's mom? This is Aidan's mom. You stay away from my child. And keep your hoodlum kid away from him, too."

Many more giggles.
I'm sure you're relieved to know that the Train Robber is upstairs asleep, and if I know my kid, he won't MOVE until we roust him out of bed in 8 hours. :)

Good times, good times. :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Riddle me this

If I am so busy all the dadgum time, then why am I so fat?
Seriously, last week, I forgot to eat lunch several times because my days' schedules were so packed.

Why is it that every time I attend a pro game (any sport), the team loses? I was Michael's lucky date Friday night to the Stars vs. Flames game. We lost in overtime. I hate sudden death. It's so... sudden. Other than that, though, what a BLAST it was! We had awesome seats, on the second row, right beside the opposing team's penalty box. Lucky for me, Cara was out of town and couldn't attend, and Darren loves me so much that he deferred to me when the opportunity came up. ("I got to go last time," he said. MAN, I love that man!)

Why is it, at Fuzzy's Taco Shop, when I request garlic sauce, they get all snarky and insist that garlic sauce is a GIVEN on their tacos - you don't have to request it... and yet, the reason I always request it is because they always forget to put it on! (Have you ever had a Fuzzy's Taco? Despite the disgusting innuendo in their name and slogan ("If it looks like a taco and smells like a fish, it must be a tasty dish" - they're famous for their fish tacos. Ahem.).... despite all that, I love the place and can't get enough! Tempura Shrimp Tacos are the BEST. I turned Michael on to them today, and he was a happy boy.

There's a new employee at Fortress Youth Development Center (see the link in my sidebar) who loves to say "good times".
"Hey, Tiki, how are you likin' your job?"
"It's GREAT. I like it a lot. Good times, good times."
"Tiki, do you want me to bring you some lunch when I come back?"
"No, thanks. I brought a sandwich today. Good times, good times."
At first, it was kinda funny. But now I've grown to like it, and I've caught myself saying it, too.
Last week KICKED MY TAIL, but I got so much stuff accomplished. Good time, good times.

  • went to dinner with my dear friends, the Glenns
  • afterward, met other friends for the Eli Young concert at Billy Bob's (met up with an old high school friend there, too)
  • spent all day Saturday with Kristi at Recollections' Open House, then we stayed and cropped there 'til midnight
  • Took photos of the Fortress high school girls in front of each of their schools
  • Kids were out of school Monday for State Fair Day (officially called "Columbus Day, but we all know why local kids are out of school on that day each year, and it's not 'cause Columbus sailed the ocean blue.)
  • 2 doctor's appointments
  • 1 teacher conference
  • haircut for Dani
  • volunteered at the boys' school
  • created a Save the Date card for a client
  • created a flier for Fortress YDC
  • FWSO for Darren and Dani, and the Stars game for me
  • baby shower on Saturday
  • going-away party for sweet neighbors that night
  • taught Bible class Sunday morning
  • hosted 40 or so friends from church that evening for dinner and football
  • continued planning details for the big annual ScrapShare Texas crop
  • completed a scrapbook job that was due
  • managed to see a lot of Cara and Kristi, which is always good for my soul
  • surely I'm leaving something out
  • cleaned house and caught up laundry

So again, I ask you.
How is it again, that I'm overweight?
On second thought, don't answer.
Good times, good times. :)

Monday, October 08, 2007

out of the mouth of Ian

(Bear with me. This is another crude post. I promise, no more talk of poop or boobs or wienies after this. I'll be pulling this blog out of the gutter in a matter of minutes. Ahem.)

Word to the Mommas. Dani never asked questions like this. The boys were in the kitchen eating corn dogs for lunch. Then they started talking about Beanie Weinies. I was mostly tuning them out. Aidan must've fed Ian a line though, 'cause the next thing I heard was this:

"Mom," asked Ian, "are weinies really pee pees, or are they pieces of meat?"

While choking on my tonsils, trying to suppress the laugh that came barreling up from my gut, I squeaked out, "Weinies. Are pieces. Of meat."

Then I took a deep breath.

"They're hot dogs. Hot dogs are weinies."

Satisfied with that answer, Ian went running back to the kitchen table to set his big brother straight.

And I collapsed on the floor, wheezing.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

the lady's stacked, and that's a fact

It's pretty well known that when certain friends of mine call my cell phone, the Commodores' alert me by singing a portion of "Brick House".

... "she's a Brick. Howwwse. She's mighty mighty, just lettin' it ALL hang out. She's a Brick. Howwwse. The lady's stacked, and that's a fact, ain't holdin' nothin' back...". Sometimes, when it rings, I miss the call entirely 'cause I'm too busy doin' the upper-body arms-in-the-air chair dance.

Today, I took my Fortress friend Royleesha up to her high school to get some paperwork done so that she could get enrolled in another school. While she shuffled between the Attendance Clerk's office and the Counselor's office, I decided to hang out in the hall and take some photos. The school (Arlington Heights, for you locals) is such an amazingly cool building. I was shooting the lockers when the bell rang, and the hall immediately filled with students. I'm a pretty confident girl. I don't often feel out of my element. But during that class change, I gotta tell ya: I felt conspicuous - me, a big, middle-aged Momma, wearing old lady jeans, a t-shirt with "creative genius" emblazoned in rhinestones across it, and a big ol' camera around my neck.

Finally, after five minutes, the halls cleared and the tardy bell rang. And then they came.

Two big dudes, shuffling down the hall with that familiar swagger that kids their age seem born with, shades on top of their heads even though they haven't seen the sun in hours, bling around their necks, wifebeater shirts peaking out from the required button-downs that they'd rebelliously unbuttoned down to their navels, pants barely hanging on to their 17-year old arses, and huge tennis shoes, untied. I watched them as they approached, and felt myself lean back tighter into the lockers I was leaning against.

Suddenly, the one nearest me pulled his shades down to his eyes, then to the tip of his nose, then back to his eyes, then to the tip of his nose again, and demanded,

"You fittin' a come to this school?"

I cracked right up. Heck NO, I ain't fittin' to come to this school, I was about to say. I'm 38 years old!

But before I could get a word out, as I laughed and shook my head no, he said, "That's too bad. You stacked."

I was still laughing, but it tapered off to a snicker and then a "Heh????" as they swaggered on down the hallway, the one nearest me nearly tripping on his shoelaces as he bent at the waist and did some sort of "rolling" thing with his arms.

And then, I looked around for the hidden cameras.


Smelly Cat, smellll-ly cat... what. are. they. feeding you?

From the scrapbooking message board where I spend my days:

Thread Title: What's wrong with my cat? She STINKS!

Me: If you have a sensitive stomach, go ahead and just CLOSE THIS THREAD. No, really. Ok. If you insist, then there better be no whining. Got it?

Ashlie's poop smells worse than any man's I've ever known. It's worse than mine after a night of broccoli and beans. It's worse than fresh dog poop on my shoe. It's worse than up-the-back and out-the-leg toddler diarrhea. I swear. When I walked into the house tonight, it hit me in the face. I thought one of the kids had just gone #2 and not flushed. But nope. It was the cat. In her litter box. BURIED, even. And it STILL stunk up the whole house. It's this way every time she goes, for about the last month or so. We haven't changed her food. What could it be? I'm sending her back to Ginger if the board can't fix her.

Julie: change the litter, use one with charcoal and/or baking soda

Me: It's not the litter. It's her poop. Litter is scooped at least once daily. There's a charcoal filter on top of the box (it has a lid), and we always sprinkle special cat baking soda in the litter when we scoop it. Try again.

Julie: I know it's the poop...poop is supposed to stink (sorry, I dont have a ton of cat experience, that's all I got in my bag of tricks)

Me: Cat poop isn't supposed to stink up the entire house, after it's been buried in the sand. If this is the new normal, then I'll be poking a bunch of holes in the Priority Mail box I have sitting here, and putting her out for the mailman tomorrow. Marked "Julie, Colorado Springs".

VeronicaAus: OK - gross question coming...Is her poop solid or runny?

Me: solid.

VeronicaAus: Oh.Thought it might be runny. That's when my cat's poop was stinkiest. OK - you say you haven't changed her food...maybe you need to. Maybe she needs to eat something different?

Me: Like rat poison?

VeronicaAus: No, no, no. Does Ashlie ever go outside?

Me: Only when she tries to escape out the front door, at which point I either kick her in the gut, no, no. Just kidding. I scoop her up gingerly and then chunk her back in the house and watch her land on her feet.

NancyD: If she's not going outside, grow her a bowl of grass. Just regular ol' grass that you get the seeds for at the hardware store to overseed your lawn. Ryegrass. Wheatgrass. Whatever. Leave it where she can eat it. She will.
Me: Hmmm. Don't cats eat grass when they need to barf? 'Cause she barfs plenty already. Cat yack, we call it. Furballs, says the vet. We have her on special furball-reducing chow, which maybe sorta a little bit seems to have helped.

VeronicaAus: For the fur balls - a little oil for her to lick up will help. My cats like the oil from a can of tuna.

Lissa: Ok, so am I the only one who started humming "Smelly Cat" when she saw the title to this thread? I am wondering if some well-meaning little boys haven't been sneaking the kitty some treats.

VeronicaAus: I sing that song to my cat ALL.THE.TIME. His breath is RANK.

Me: It's the tuna.

Ginger InGer: I am sooooo NOT a cat person.. but I felt bad for ya, so I googled. (by the way, did you know there's a website called ick! ok, i found this... and i'm not looking anymore LOL i cant believe Ive been googling cat poop..:*

Marcia: You may not have changed her food but the company may have changed their recipe. Try another one (preferably dry), can't get any worse right?

Cat-Scrapper: Changing her cat food may help.

Goodie: "Smelly cat... smelly cat.... It's not your fauuuuuuuuuulllllllt!"

Elaine: What kind of food is she eating? (Brand) Some make the poo stink worse than others. Significantly so.

Me: Meow Mix Hairball Control

wannaBrich: I would try changing her food. I agree with the others who mentioned feeding her a higher quality of food.

Carrie: Blaming the poor kids for not flushing. Shame on you! :) I'm with those who are suggesting changing the food.

Melissa: Am I the only one who thinks Cowtown Stacy does not like this cat?

Tonya: Get a better food.

Jacy: My mom works part time at a vets office........I'm awaitng a call back from her, and I'll let you know what she has to say.

Amy: She might have an impacted anal gland that is trying to fire off. That is the worst stench ever out off a cat's rear. Best bet for something like that is for the vet to give her a quick rotorouter job with his finger. Gross, I know, but it works wonders. My Meiko has had this happen a couple times. I also agree that she needs a better cat food.

Lori: This was my first thought, too. Does her rear end smell too? Not just after she's gone but other times? I don't mean you need to stick your nose right near her butt, but when you are petting her, scratch her back near her tail. She should raise her butt up and you'd smell it right away. We thought she had just gone poop, but it ALWAYS smelled, even if we bathed her. Turns out, she had a plugged anal gland. Vet said it was one of the worst he'd seen. GROSS!

Lindsay: My kitty's impacted anal gland ruptured through his lower abdomen. Talk about gross and stinky! Had to have surgery to repair that one....rotorouter wasn't going to do the trick.

Fran: Ok...I have no advice on your stinky cat, but this thread is CRACKING.ME.UP. Seriously, I have tears running down my it just me?!

Heidiinak: NO, its not only you! I am dieing here. LOL!

Jacy: Okay Stacy....recommendation from mom....If there's been no change in food, and if she's not having loose stools, it could be that she's under some stress and that alone could be the cause.

Me: 'Tis true that lately, I haven't liked her very much. Maybe she's stressed out 'cause she can tell! LOL!

Kim: I would do a diet change to a higher quality food. let us know how poor stinky kitty is doing!

NancyD: So many posts over stinky cat poop......I'm LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!

AmyJoy: WHY am I reading this??I don't have a cat. I don't even LIKE cats...What's wrong with ME!?!?

Teresa: Ditto. This thread is very entertaining!

Emmylou: Another vote for switching from Meow Mix.


So. I'm switching her food.

If *that* doesn't work, the last person to comment will receive a nice, rank, 14-pound box in the mail. Maybe with airholes, maybe not.

Methinks this blog has just sunk to a new low.