Wednesday, May 10, 2006

stream of consciousness

I want my nose pierced. Yah, it even surprises ME. I want one of those teeny tiny little diamond specks. Not gonna do it, 'cause Darren would howl at the moon if I did. But I want it.

The only time I remember throwing a temper tantrum as a kid was when I was about 5 or 6 years old. My parents and I and my brother were riding in a Jeep over Engineer Pass in Colorado. I kept holding my big, billowy Mountain Mama hat out over the edge of the Jeep, because I loved the way it flapped in the wind. Mom told me to stop several times, and finally threatened to throw my hat over the mountain if I did it again. I did it again. She kept her promise. I watched in horror as my beautiful brown straw hat fluttered and floated over the edge of the mountain. I can still feel the heartbroken rage that my 5-year old self felt!

The only time I remember throwing a temper tantrum as an adult was during our second year of marriage. I wanted to go to a craft show and had been looking forward to it all week. When the weekend came, Darren suddenly didn't want to go. (Could it have anything to do with the fact that he was working 2 full time jobs AND taking 2 classes at the junior college?) I responded by chunking a 5-pound container of peanut butter at his head. It dinted the wall behind him. In my own defense, I was, uh, not well. Soon after that episode, he dragged me to a shrink. True story.

I never, ever eat chocolate without checking the bottom of it first. Once, in college, I took a candy bar out of the bottom drawer of the refrigerator in the break room of the video store where I worked. (Man, that was a lot of prepositional phrases.) It was an Almond Joy. When I got to the second piece, I poured it out of the package into the palm of my hand, and with it came a handful of dead ants. I spit and gagged and ran for water. The store's owner had put the infested candy bars in the fridge to kill the ants. You'd think I'd have learned....

but a few years ago, I was at a party and there was this bowl of cute little Texas-shaped chocolates wrapped in Texas-looking foil. I unwrapped one and popped it in my mouth. Something felt funny. I immediately spit it out, and discovered that there were tiny maggots on the bottom of it. I tried to be discreet, really, I did. I grabbed a napkin and started scrubbing my tongue. The kitchen was full of party guests, and I didn't want to embarrass our hostess, but after about, oh, 2.6 seconds, I couldn't control it any longer. I ran to the sink and wretched. The hostess said, "Oh, I wouldn't have eaten those if I were you. They've been in that bowl forEVER." Uh, okay. Thanks for telling me that BEFORE I stuck one in my mouth. ICK!

I have OCD when it comes to cleaning my ears. I don't floss regularly, but I clean my ears at least once a day.

Yesterday, at the dollar store buying cheap candles for my centerpieces, this is what the young clerk said to me when it was time to sign my receipt: "Here. Maybe you would like to hold a handsome man like me." He handed me a pen with a naked man on it. I looked up at him and laughed out loud, 'cause NO. I would not like to hold a "handsome" man like him. Cracked. Me. UP!

This is for Erin:
I think Elliott's going home this week. It's time. The judges thought tonight was his best vocal ever, but really. It's time.

Katherine mostly impressed me with her first song. The arrangement of the two songs together was clever and fun, and she was energetic and entertaining (even though she was out of breath for some of it), but "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" was painful. PAINFUL.

Taylor was Taylor. I sorta hope he DOES end up in Vegas, 'cause I'd be booking a flight to see the man live. He cracks me UP! Wouldn't buy an album of his, but I'd totally fly to Vegas to see the show.

I wish I'd've put money on Chris way back when. 'Cause I said at audition time that he would be our next American Idol. It was nice seeing him calmed down a little this week. This was the first week he didn't bring a tear to my eye, but he was still fantastic. Suspicious Minds was perfect for him, and MAN! Did he ever ROCK that second song? I can't believe he got all the lyrics right AND kept the tempo. Totally impressed with Chris.

I'll miss Wednesday night's show (client appointment), so someone will have to call me and tell me what happens!

Finally, this is for Jonesee...
the tooth fairy gave $1 for each of the bottom two teeth, and $2 for each of the top two teeth. That's the end of the inflation, though. Only the top two front teeth get $2. After this, we're goin' back to a dollar. :)

13 comments:

Annie said...

Don't pierce your nose. Buggers will get caught on the inside piece.

Cara said...

I thought that guy at the dollar store just liked ME! Apparently, I am not the only one!? I guess he let you use the pen with the man on it too. ( the one when you turn it over his drawers drop) I came home and said, " I just got hit on by the Dollar Store clerk who kind of speaks english. I have hit an all time low!" LOL! I feel even lower now! He does it to all of us! I just don't feel special now! ;p

Karen said...

I will get my nose pierced with you, i want one of those timy little shiney things too. I have already had most of my body pierced at one time or another. and Cara, I don't think he was hitting on you, IF he actually said he enjoyed having that MAN in his hands... that means he likes men... and unless....

Cara said...

Karen,
LOL!!! He didn't want us to hold naked men like he holds naked men....he wanted us to hold a naked man like HIM!! You would have to hear his tone and see his eyes to know he WAS coming on to me and Stace!! Funny!!

C

Nancy D. said...

Huh.

Tooth fairy brings $1 for the regular teeth, $2 for the molars around here.

yea. I'm with Darren on the nose piercing. Someone I know has one. It isn't as attractive as she thinks it is. Ask Normy....

Anonymous said...

I think Elliot needs to go too, although Katherine did NOT do well last night. If Chris is not our next American Idol, I will cry. Not only can he sing, he's so HOT!
I'd go to Vegas with you!
Eri

Mel said...

Ok... ick to the chocolate stories... you could have given us a warning!!!!

Empress4

LvHmBirth said...

Yuck to the chocolate stories. Those were worse than thinking of the nose piercing. And I thought of you when I watched Idol on tivo ... I was SHOCKED. But I'd fly to Vegas with you to see Taylor, LOL!

Christy said...

Hi Stacy,

Your cabinet is beautiful. I'm jealous. Make sure you post photos after you fill it up!

karen said...

cara,

OH OK I get it, I thought he was saying here you probably want to hold this man like i hold him... Ok so he is coming on to you both.. Kudos... I bet he has a BRIGHT future! hehehehe
which dollar store is this again??? I may have to pick up some cleaning supplies

Nicole in NC said...

Eeeew on the chocolate story. Dead ants were bad enough, but the other?? *note to self: do not let any chocolate get old.* And I've wondered about nose rings too - doesn't the inside piece stab you when you blow your nose??

Nicole in NC said...

Eeeew on the chocolate story. Dead ants were bad enough, but the other?? *note to self: do not let any chocolate get old.* And I've wondered about nose rings too - doesn't the inside piece stab you when you blow your nose??

scrappygirl said...

Now ya know I'll be the first one to cheer you on with the nose piercing idea... ;-) This coming from someone who has pierced just about everything. One word of caution - the nose piercing is rather painful and sometimes it doesn't heal properly.

Now the icky chocolate stories... those nipped my craving for chocolate real quick! Probably best seeing as it's almost 1 a.m.!