Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Dani's most recent Xanga entry is titled:
"15 people, 15 secrets, 15 things I need to say"

As I read through her list of 15, I was able to figure out who each entry was referring to. Almost. There were a few that I was unsure on, but on the others, I was dead-on correct. And yet, when it came to #14, I WANTED to be sure, but I wasn't quite.

"14. I've been angrier at you than anyone else, I've loved you more than anyone else, I've laughed with you more than anyone else, I've cried in front of you more than anyone else. You are like me and I am like you and you are the most influential person in my life. So I guess all that's left to say is thanks."

We sat out on the porch swing and talked about her blog. She was surprised that I knew most of the 15. There was one in particular that I wanted details about. It had to do with a boy who recently broke her heart. She didn't want to tell me the details, so I bribed her with a trip to Starbucks. "Ok," she said. "Done! Let's go!"

So at 10 o'clock on a school night, we sat outside at Starbucks, drinking Frappuccinos and talking about boys. She told me the details, and I told her some of my own boy horror stories. That hour sitting outside Starbucks will remain one of my most cherished memories. For in that hour, my daughter and I bonded in a way we never have before.

She'll be 15 this summer. There is so much life for her to experience, and while I realize that she'll want to keep a lot of it to herself, I also thank God that we have such a beautifully communicative relationship that she'll know she CAN talk to me about any of it. We talk frankly, honestly and without fear.

I cherish my daughter.
And you know what? She cherishes me too.
I was #14.



ginger said...

I'm teary-eyed. You and Dani give each other a hug from me ;)

Jackietex said...

Thank you for sharing that! The past year with Ariel has been such a blessing. For about a year or so before her accident I could feel how she was growing more independant and I missed her. Because of her accident we have gotten so much closer than we ever were because of the shared experience, but also because of how much she appreciated the stuff that I did for her. Last week I found that she had changed the welcome message on my phone to "Thank you for cleaning my bedpans!" It brought me to tears. All those months of staying up late watching reruns and eating popsicles will be some of the best of my life. I'm happy to read about your relationship with Dani.

Dirpus said...

I knew you were #14.

Beth (longaberger_lady) said...

Thank you, thank you for posting this. You and Dani are both very blessed to have this relationship. I guess you know that, huh?

I'm going through a rough patch with my 8 YO. She's trying desperately to push the boundaries and I'm struggling with giving up a little bit of control over her so she can spread her wings a little. I want the relationship with her that I did not have with my mom, the kind you and Dani have. It's something I commit to prayer every day.

Bobbie said...

You inspire me to not ever give up on my own relationships w/my gals. Brittani will be 13 soon and is wanting to go "hang" w/a boy named Austin and watch "Over the Hedge" at the movies. Well, as you KNOW this was NOT allowed in our household growing up. And as you know, I do not want to be like "she" was. So, her daddy and I talked, I told her I was not comfy w/it, and she did not understand why I could not trust her, I told her it was not that I did not trust her, it was just the concept of her still being 12 almost 13 going to a movie w/a boy. So, DH and I talked and said we would taker her to the movie and Austin could meet her and we would all watch the movie, or maybe DH and I would watch another movie. It is sooooo hard making these decisions.

Karen said...

ahhh I really hope my daughter will look at me like that, i know I have not always been the easiest mom to talk to. but i want her to cherish me the way Dani does you... i think i am going to go eat a worm.... what a girl you brought up!

Christine said...

Made me full out cry!! It reminds me of when I was 15, I just had been "forced" (because I was sneaking out with him) to break up with my boyfriend (now fiance, 13 years later!). I was SO mad at my parents! My Mom wrote me a note that said she remembered being my age and how tough it could be. I cherish that "bonding" with my Mom. She probably doesn't even remember it! I only wish I could find that letter.(I'm sure I have it somewhere, I'm a hoarder!)
Ok now I am crying again, must be PMS!
Keep being the great mom you are!!