A couple of weeks ago, Dani asked me out of the blue,
"What's a promise ring?"
It seems that her boyfriend was planning to give her one.
I wasn't altogether happy about it. She's only 15. He's 17.
As we argued about what a promise ring means (I said it's an engaged-to-be-engaged ring; she said it's an "I promise to be faithful and supportive and to love you while we're dating"), I decided to seek counsel from my online circle of friends. I posed the question to them. "What does a promise ring mean to you?"
Their answers were varied. Most validated my thoughts by stating that a promise ring signifies a promised engagement. Others said it's a token of young love and doesn't really mean anything. A few said that a promise ring is a symbol that says, "We're having sex", or a permission slip to have it. Dani and I talked in depth about it all on one of our weekly Starbucks dates. I voiced my concerns and tried to guide her to a decision, but ultimately, I decided to trust her and not make a battle out of it.
This past Sunday, Brian announced that he wouldn't be giving her a promise ring after all.
"Why?" I asked. "Are y'all breaking up?"
"Oh, NO," assured Brian. "It's just that... my Mom wasn't happy about it. She thinks we're too young."
See, we Moms - we think alike.
Tonight was Dani and Brian's 6th month anniversary. Dani planned it and paid for it as her gift to him. (They went to a museum for a lecture by a famous photographer, then out to eat at P.F. Chang's.) (Up to this point, their dates have been dinner at one another's houses, school events and for the past 6 weeks or so, he's attended church with us.)
Brian's gift to Dani?
You know, I'm not thrilled that my nearing-16-year-old daughter is so serious about one boy already. But if has to be one boy, then I'm glad it's Brian. He's a good kid. I like him, and I trust him. Not many Moms can say that and mean it. :)