Dani's first big Chemistry test is coming up this week.
Her homework in that class is to study for the test.
But see, tonight, Dani's been way too occupied with other things: talking on the phone and IMing with her friends. Uh huh.
So at 9:30, she asks to get online again.
"Dani, have you studied?"
"Yes," she says, handing me an index card full of notes to prove it.
I look at the notes. Metric conversions.
"A litre equals..." I say.
"1.09 quarts," she responds.
"A pascal measures..."
"A meter equals..."
".264 feet. Wait. No...."
"ErHHHHH. Wrong. You didn't study."
"No! I did! This is just hard to remember."
"You did not study."
"Okay. Here's proof. A mole measures..."
"Uh, wait. I know it. Hold on."
"A MOLE MEASURES..."
"I'm thinking! This is a hard one."
"Not according to your notes. According to your notes, a mole measures a MOLE!"
"Let me see that! Give me my notes."
"BWA HA HA HA HA HA! You weren't even paying attention to what you were writing down! You were on the phone! Or DAYDREAMING!"
Much protest ensued. Silly teenager. I'm onto her. Know why? 'Cause she gets it from The Master. ME!
Case in point:
Today, my checking account is precariously balanced between having a tiny amount of money in it and none. A quick phone call to Darren when my gas gauge hit E confirmed that at that exact moment, I could afford to put $15 in my tank.
So I pull into 7/11 and key in my PIN. Flip the lever on the 87 octane. Stick the nozzle in and lock it in place. Smile at the black man who winked at me. (I never EVER get hit on except by black men. Thank God for black men!) Ask Aidan what flavor of Slurpee he wants. (Was gonna stop at $14 and spend the extra $1 on his very hard-earned Slurpee.) Got to thinking about my client who I've been unable to reach for 5 days, and wondering if maybe she's out of town, and wondering when I can possibly get paid so my bank balance won't be so precariously perched. And then it happened. POP! My tank was full.
FULL!! I was gonna stop at $14. The pump was glowing a pretty neon $35.87.
Not only that, but I'd paid AT the pump, instead of paying in the store. Either way, Aidan would've been cheated out of his Slurpee. Sweet little man. When I confessed that I'd been a doofus and spent all my money and then some on gas and I was so, so sorry, he said very evenly, "Mom, it's okay." Almost made me cry. I so expected him to throw a fit.
I raced home and transferred money out of Dani's savings account to cover my gas. I'm tellin' ya. That kid has bailed me out more than once.
Doesn't mean I won't chap her hide, though, when she tells me she's been studying. A mole equals a mole? Come on. Even *I* pay better attention than that!