Thursday, July 07, 2005

I Will Not Be Afraid


At 7:30 this morning, I started being gently pulled from my sleep by these words. I had worked late into the night, and had fallen asleep on the couch watching CNN. As the fog cleared from my eyes, I sat up and watched the coverage, channel surfing to see what the other stations were reporting. I felt a deep sadness in my gut as images of the Twin Towers flashed through my head. I hate terror and the bastards behind it.

At precisely 7:39, my phone rang. It was Mom.

"You need to get up and turn on the news," she said, in her deepest, most doom-ridden voice.

"I'm watching it," I replied blandly.

"So you're cancelling your trip then?"

"Uh, NO."

"Well, you and Dani should DEFINITELY cancel your trip to London!"

"Mom, London is probably safer now than it was yesterday. It's very unlikely that there will be another attack after this morning's. Besides, Dani and I will be there on a Saturday. Terrorists generally target busy commuter areas on business days."

Mom was beside herself. She can't believe we'd be so flip about it. She wonders how we can possibly be so irresponsible. I said, "Mom. I refuse to be afraid. I am NOT afraid. I'm aware, and I'm cautious, but I will not change my life because of fear."

She continued the conversation by saying that she wished Dani and I wouldn't travel alone to London. "For some reason, I'd just feel better if Darren was with you." Then she said that she's been uncomfortable all along that we're going to Ireland. "You're flying in and out of Dublin?" she asked. When I said yes, she lamented, "I wish you wouldn't. Northern Ireland is just not safe!"

I explained to her that Dublin is not in Northern Ireland, but I didn't bother telling her that I'd probably be safer there than I am here in the inner city of Fort Worth. No need to give my poor Mom heart failure.

I won't be taking the tube (it'll likely still be closed, anyway), but I won't cancel my trip. I'll see a different London than I would have last week, but I won't let that slow me down. I'll be empathetic to London's loss, but I won't be distraught. I'll be more aware and less fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-y, but I. Will. Not. Be. Afraid.


Sherilyn said...

Corey just got back from London last week and may have to go again in another month or two. We just do what we need to do.....

I definitely feel much safer when Corey is at home at night, but that confounds him a little. "If some guy breaks into our bedroom with a gun some night, what am I going to be able to do about it?", he says. And he's right, but we all have our fears and they don't have to be rational. ;)

When I start getting all irrationally afrid of things (and that is, sadly, fairly often), I remind myself that the most dangerous thing I do is simply get behind the wheel of my car.

Y'all will be fine in Europe...:D

Nancy D. said...

And you can spit in the eye of those terrorists for all of us.

We shall not be afraid. We shall not be deterred from our plans.

Even if we are mere women... ;)