Tuesday, May 08, 2007

conversations with Ian, age 5

Proof that Ian is Darren's son:

Ian: 200 pennies is $2. 400 pennies is $4. 800 pennies is $8. Right, Mom?

Mom: Yup.

Ian: So is 1000 pennies $10?

Mom: Yup.

Ian: How much is a million pennies?

Mom: Go ask your Dad.

(at Costco)
Ian: Can I order my own hot dog and pay for it?
Mom: You betcha.
Ian: How much will it cost?
Mom: $1.62. You have $2.
Ian (to employee): Hot dog.
Employee: Here's your change.
Ian: HEY!! You're supposed to give me 38 cents, but this is only 29!!
Employee: (makes no sound... just picks her jaw up off the ground)
Mom: Ian, this is 38 cents. I think you mistook this old dime for a penny.
Ian: Can I keep the change?
Employee: jaw still gaping


Dale: I taught Ian about square roots today. He understood immediately.
Mom (later): Ian, what's the square root of 4?
Ian: 2.
Mom: What's the square root of 9?
Ian: 3.
Dad: What's the square root of 1?
Ian (thinking hard....): One?


(at Target, where I let him choose a new jigsaw puzzle)
Ian: Mom, this puzzle has 300 pieces.
Mom: Uh-huh.
Ian: My other puzzle only has a hundred.
Mom: Yep.
Ian: THIS puzzle has THREE TIMES as many!
(I haven't taught him about multiplication. He just KNOWS this stuff.)

Ian: I can read, too, Aidan.
Aidan: Okay. What does d-o-g spell?
Ian: dog
Aidan: What does c-a-t spell?
Ian: cat
Aidan: What does s-t-o-p spell?
Ian: Stop. sigh.
Aidan: Ok, I'll give you some hard ones. What does... x...f...r...y spell?
Ian: (blank look)
Aidan: What does .... uh.... p...w...k...t spell?
Ian: (blank look)
Aidan: what does h-p-t-r spell?
Ian: AIDAN!! These words are too DIFFICULT!

Proof that Ian is my child:

Ian: What's that smell??
Mom: Oh. Excuse me. I just farted.
Ian: Mom. Your farts smell nasty.
Mom: Ian. Everyone's farts smell nasty.
Ian: Not all of mine do. Some of them don't smell at all.
Mom: Is that so?
Ian: Yah. The loudest ones don't stink! They're just LOUD! heee heeeeeheeehe heheheeeeeee


My friend Melissa (in Aus) used to say she wanted to eat him with a spoon. She'll have to get in line behind me, 'cause I'm so in love with this kid I can't stand it.
(click to see his face. Goofball.)


Martha in CA said...

Farts are SOOOOOOOOO funny! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes (from laughing, not that burning, stinging sensation).

nesa scraps said...

LOL. Ian is such a character. reading that instantly put a huge smile on my face.

hope you guys aren't getting washed away with all this rain lately.

Melissa in AUS said...

Your friend still wants to eat him with a spoon!

*My* son today said that he had seen Spider-man 1 and 2, but 3 (which was just released here) is too scary and he's not allowed to watch it. "You can only watch it when your 30 and are in a wheelchair or have a walking stick..." I *swear* I didn't tell him that. I haven't the heart to tell him I'm 32 1/2. He might think he needs to start looking at coffins :O

Anonymous said...


He is so DARREN, like sooooooooooo DARREN, the human calculator. love him, and that look on his face is priceless.
Karen K

Beth said...

Aren't little boys the BEST? I love all my kids, but my two boys are just special. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em.

Veronica in Aus said...

Oh my!! That photo is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s!

I'm joining that queue to eat that kid with a spoon....too adorable!