Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Maybe Just Ain't Enough

They say that bad news comes in threes. If that's true, I'm done. Yesterday, the letter. This afternoon, word that Baby Ira has indeed reherniated - an almost unheard of recurrance. Click on Joe's blog link to the right to read more. And then 2 hours ago, news that my friend Sherlyn's (not Sherilyn...two different people)13-year old son has just been diagnosed with leukemia. My thoughts immediately went straight to Elaine, my friend in high school who was diagnosed the day after a slumber party (at which she was unusually fatigued) and died 5 weeks later, a week after her 15th birthday. Leukemia has scared the crap out of me ever since. I ache for Sherlyn and Sharon (her Mom, who is also a dear friend to me), and I lift Logan up in prayer as I type. Oh, Lord, send us a miracle! WE NEED A MIRACLE!

Sometimes when I can't find words to pray, I simply say, "God. Be here. Be real to me. BE REAL TO ME." I know that He hears my wimpers and moanings and makes sense of them. Other times, when I fall to my knees, a song will pop into my head. Truly, I think it's the Holy Spirit, giving me words when He knows I have none of my own. It happened as I typed this... the words as Rich Mullins sang them all those years ago....

this, Joe and Laura... and Sherlyn and Sharon and Allie... and E, A, A, V, B, R, and C... this is my prayer for you. Hey. It's my prayer for me too.

There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
There's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

There's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't nothing to be ashamed of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

Now, People say maybe things will get better
People say maybe it won't be long
And people say maybe you'll wake up tomorrow
And it'll all be gone
Well I only know that maybes just ain't enough
When you need something to hold on
There's only one thing that's clear

I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
But that ain't nothing to be afraid of
I know there's bound to come some tears up in your eyes
That ain't no reason to fear
I know there's bound to come some trouble to your life
Reach out to Jesus, hold on tight
He's been there before and He knows what it's like
You'll find He's there

words and music by Rich Mullins

4 comments:

Ginger said...

oh no. I don't know how Joe & Laura do it. I guess they have no choice. All of your "bad news" is hitting too close to home. Continuing to pray...

Karen said...

Oh my Stace, My heart is pounding with pain, I just saw Allie at the ice skating rink, and Alex was so excited to see her too. I am at a lose for words......
When we think we have it bad.. we have no idea..
i love you

Kelly Hicks said...

Hey Stacy,

I just saw were you posted on S&S & saw your blog link. I'm so sorry to hear about Logan. Do you remember that my daughter had leukemia too? She 3 years off-teatment & doing great. In fact, we spent the afternoon with some of our Camp Smile-A-Mile friends today. Gotta love little bald kids. We've made great lifelong friends in our childhood cancer world. I'm sure Sherlyn & Logan will too.

Many good things have come from our trial and the very best thing is a healthy child. Remember your history with leukemia was a long time ago, now it is the most curable type of childhood cancer. It is "the good" one. (Yea, tell that to a newly diagnosed family.)

She can get good info from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. (They also reimburse you up to $500.00 a year with the year end in June. HTH) And a great book that she HAS to get is Childhood Leukemia by Nancy Keene. I think she can get a copy free from L&LS, but she needs it NOW - right now. And Caringbridge sites are free & a wonderful way to keep friends updated on your specific needs & changes without calling the family all the time. Here is Sarah Anne's... www.caringbridge.com/al/sarahanne
There are lots of links to other kid's site (some will have more in common with him than Sarah Anne does) in her guestbook (more if you scroll back to when she was on treatment too).

He'll most likely have to have 2 1/2 years of chemo that will taper off as he goes. He'll get a Make-A-Wish wish & the whole family will get to enjoy camps & such just for pediatric oncology families (Like our Camp Smile-A-Mile). When Sarah Anne was on treatment we looked for every opportunity to make her smile, because her daily life wasn't great and the future was uncertain. My motto is Live Life With No Regrets! Because you never know.

The first month is the worst, the next 6 months are very very hard too. It will get easier after those 2 milestones pass, with the occasional bump in the road. He NEEDS to reach remission in the first 30 days. That is the biggest prayer right now. And that his body can tolerate the bad drugs.

I'll keep Logan in my prayers. And Sherlyn and Sharon too. It is so hard watching your child be so sick. I'm so sorry.

If I can help in any way, please email me.

May God Bless with comfort & peace (about all of your recent requests),
Kelly Hicks
(BlessedMommy)
khicks6@mindspring.com

Angie said...

hi, you don't know me. but i was updating my son's caring bridge site this morning and looking for the words to this song. google brought me to your website (LOL)
;-)
just wanted you to know that i really needed to hear what your friend kelly had to say tonight and to thank you for helping me find her post.
read what i wrote regarding this song and my son's treatment here on the journal entry for 11/2
www.caringbridge.org/visit/williamarmstrong