Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bottled

Today I received a letter that changed my life. It came from someone I love with ever fiber of my heart, from the deepest depth of my being. It bore a message that shook me, scared me, and left me reeling and fumbling for balance as my vision blurred and my mind numbed and my thoughts ran the gamut from shock to sadness to bitterness to anger to confusion to worry to... where I am now.

And I'm not entirely sure where that is.

The message the letter brought is something that has been bottled for far too long, allowed to fester and spoil, dropped on hard concrete and shaken up, carefully stored at the back of the cupboard until an unknowing party popped the cork and sprayed the unsuspecting with shock and sadness and bitterness and anger and confusion and worry and...

I know this isn't making much sense. Don't ask me any questions. Simply pray for the ones I love. God will know for whom you're praying. Pray for clarity, for courage, for honesty, for understanding, for release, for repentence and forgiveness, for calm and sanity, for wisdom, for peace.

For me, pray specifically for courage, clarity and long-suffering. For I've been caught in a place no one ever wants to be: the middle. And although I'm here as an unwilling participant, I'm here with everything that IS me, with every ounce of love this heart can muster. But me isn't enough. I can't go into this battle alone. I can't go in with Darren. I can't go in with anyone but God. Pray that I'll remember that when Goliath starts taunting. 'Cause he will.

22 comments:

Meg said...

I'm praying for you Stace and for those that you love. I'm also praying for strength for you at this time. With God, you'll make it through this battle. If you need me, you know where to find me.

(((HUGS)))

Martha in CA said...

You got it, Stace. Know that when you are ready, and want to, there are many of us to lend and ear and offer more specific support.

Love you bunches.

Ginger said...

Praying for whatever you and your loved ones need, just when you need it.

Elaine said...

Coming your way. :)

Amy from MN said...

You got it, Stacy. Sending prayers for strength for all of you, and may you find the answers you need.

Bev in OH said...

I've never posted a comment on anyone's blog before but this entry really called to me. I'm praying for you and your loved ones, Stacy!

Much love and many hugs!

Martha said...

Request received, praying for you and your family! May you find comfort and strength in the circle of love that surrounds you!
Martha C.

Colleen said...

HE will be with you and will direct your path and your words. Be strong and of a good courage, as God told Joshua. My prayers are with you and your loved ones. May resolution bring healing to all.

Nancyp said...

Stacy, I will be praying for you also. That you may have the peace you need to deal with this situation in a Godly manner and that resolution may come.

Nancy

Menjiness said...

Praying for you with all my heart and soul. May you find the peace, clarity and love that you need to make it through this time.

Hugs,
Desiree

Sue said...

Done.

Nancy D. said...

I'm on it.

Rhonda said...

I went through a time about 12 years ago that was the hardest thing I've ever been through and hopefully the hardest thing I ever WILL go through.

It lasted for over 2 years and God gave me the strength to go through it. I have never in my life been closer to Him than I was during that time. He will do the same for you.

You are in my prayers.

Veronica in Aus said...

Joining in the prayers for you and your family.

newsgirl said...

God, only You know exactly what is needed... thank You.

Jenny said...

Your and your family are being lifted in my prayers.

Patti in LC said...

Adding you to my prayer list. Peace and Hugs

SouthTXCMC said...

I will be praying for you and all involved and your family. I pray for this to be resolved quickly and gently. Diane

Karen said...

Stace,
I do not know what is going on, but i know that you are a faithful person and God loves you, he will walk you through this time in your life, the song that i think of when things are sucky is Rich Mullens, Hold me Jesus, cause I'm shaking like a leaf, you have been King of my Glory will you be my Prince of Peace.
My prayers are flowing your way, I am just a leap away if you want to talk.

Jeanne said...

You are in my prayers Stace.

DKelly said...

Stacy! Know that you're in my prayers. . . God knows your needs and how He can get you through "whatever"! My heart reaches out to you for what you're dealing with. Wish I could hug you in person but am sending one anyway.
LYLAS!
Denise

IStandAmazed said...

I'll keep you in my prayers. But if you need a hug, just call me and I'll be over there in less than 30 minutes...