Monday, March 06, 2006

I'm such a girl!

This morning, I was leaving to run errands with the boys. Darren had graciously left me his car since it was gonna be a hot one, and my van doesn't have A/C.

So I loaded the boys up, opened the driveway gate, and started to back out. All of a sudden, a spider dropped from the rubber seal of the door and landed right on my forearm, then proceeded to run RIGHT UP MY SLEEVE!

I freaked.

Just like a GIRL.

I started flailing around, trying to get the monster out of my clothing before he ate me alive. Truth be told, he was a tiny spider. No bigger than a pencil eraser, counting his legs and all. SMALL spider. I. Did. Not. Care. I wanted him OFF.

So I'm all but taking my shirt off all the while batting at my arm like a crazy woman when I hear it: "crrrrrrrrrrrumple CRACK!" DadGUM it! In my freakout, I'd rammed the dadgum stupid car mirror right into the blasted dumb gate! Broke it. Scraped up the fender of the car. I put it back in forward, pulled up, inspected the damage, let out a string of not-nice words, and THEN remembered that there was a freakin' spider in my shirt. So I took off my shirt, turned it inside out, shook the living daylights out of it, slapped myself silly all over the place to make sure he wasn't still ON me, put my shirt back on, and calmly backed out of the driveway.

I'm just glad no one was passing by at the time.

THEN, not TWO MINUTES later, Aidan rolls down his window in the backseat, which is a MAJOR no-no. "Don't worry, Mom," he says. "There was a spider on my window, so I rolled it down to make him fall off. But he came inside the car when I rolled it down."

ACK!!

Stupid useless ugly scary dumb nasty creepy twisted freakin' SPIDER. I hate 'em all.

10 comments:

Annie said...

The itsy bitsy spider ran up Stacy's shirt,
The mirror and the fender, they got a little hurt.
Off came the shirt and the spider ran away,
And the girlygirly GIRL drove the van away.

You poor thing!

Veronica in Aus said...

ROFLOL Annie!!!!!!!

Oh Stacy.....you are just the best storyteller!

Anonymous said...

WARNING:

Do not read Stacy's blog while at work, break time is over and manager is walking past cubie wandering why I am laughing out loud at a computer monitor that is pitch black...(had to turn it off when I heard her coming)......
Hillarious, I can see you now Stacy! Does it ever happen to you that after you read anything about spiders you start to feel the crawlies on ya? Izzz feelin em...bot

Dirpus said...

So let me make sure I've got this right...

You DON'T like spiders?

Nancy D. said...

Some day I'll tell the tale of the snake in the backyard.... just not today... Of course ol' Dirpus won't be able to go near my blog for a week...

Sue said...

OH, NO! So sorry for the damage, but what I really wanna know: did you squash the spider??? LOL

Cara said...

My heart started racing just reading about the spider! I have actually riped my shirt off in front of people because of a spider. Remind me to tell you about the walking stick that walked into my shirt sleeve. I was in a moving car too!!

Eri said...

You're just like Rodney. He even hates watching Arachnaphobia!

Melissa in AUS said...

O.M.F.S.M.!! lol - SNORT!!

nancyp said...

OMG, that is so me!