Thursday, October 20, 2005

Stacy Needs

I totally stole this idea from another blogger. I hadn't planned on actually BLOGGING it, but I thought the search might be fun, so I tried it. By the end, I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face, I was turning blue, and the floorboards were creaking from my bouncing.

Here's what you do. Google "[your name] needs" (without the brackets, obviously. These are the first ten entries that Google gave me.

I think Stacy needs to kick-up her voice, and work harder at it.
Hmmm. I think the people at Fortress would be more likely to say, "Stacy needs to quit kicking up her voice and pretending to be Aretha Frankin."

Stacy needs to either get some charisma and step into the ring at least once or get the F out!
Dude. I'm out, I'm out!

Stacy needs no boob job, a woman doesn't need breasts the
size of navy floatation devices to be beautiful and sexy.

I must say, I wholeheartedly agree. And I'm about to pee my pants, and this isn't even the FUNNIEST one yet.

Stacy Needs Our Help!
Are you Flylady? Then come on over. I'll put your overachieving hindquarters to work!

Stacy needs some toning, and said Simon needs to put some extra scoops on this one.
Did someone say extra scoops? I'll take Brownie Fudge Nut and Butter Brickle, thanks.

Stacy needs sex, and she needs it fast, and that's all her little brain can comprehend.
Ok. This is where the tears started rolling. And HEY! Who's the weirdo who's been Peeping Tomming my house???

Stacy needs a bit and bridle for that horse mouth of hers.
THIS is the one that made me turn blue. I swear, I was laughing so hard that I couldn't get a breath in.

Stacy needs a Hard Drive.
No, actually. Stacy just needs to start backing up the hard drive she has! .....oh. OH. HARD drive? Hard DRIVE? Yah. Stacy could use one of those.

Stacy needs to face herself, rather than constantly blame others for hers and Bob's troubles.
Hey now. I don't have any troubles with my Bobs.

Stacy needs some thoughts on what to do with small roulette wheels and what can fifth graders do if they are in charge of one room.


Meg said...

ROFLOL! Love it Stace. Okay so I decided to Google "Meg Needs" and it was mostly computer mumbo-jumbo. So I searched "Meghan Needs" and guess what I found? Someone had already done a blog entry with all of Meghan's needs! So here they are, what I and the other Meghan needs:

1.) Meghan Needs A Savage Beating.
2.) Meghan Needs A boyfriend.
3.) Meghan needs 15 total points with at least two majors (shows worth 3 or more points) with the majors under at least two different judges.
4.) Meghan needs a family that has experience with teenagers and the daily issues they face.
5.) Meghan needs something I can’t give her
6.) Meghan needs help as she has been caught in the middle of a conspiracy.
7.) Meghan needs help with a good AIM screen names.
8.) Meghan needs his help more than ever.
9.) Meghan needs a job. . .and fast!
10.) Meghan needs to rag On Granny some More.

I like the savage beating one. Don't think Jason will be happy about me needing a boyfriend. And I KNOW there's a conspiracy against me!

Cara said...

Okay, here is the Cara needs:

1. Cara needs 34 tabs of phenobarbiton a day along with potassium bromide.
2. Cara needs a tough girl image rather than a pretty girl one.
3. Cara needs more diversity in order to gain legitamcy.
4. Cara needs the validation of others.
5. Cara needs $ for her future!
6. Cara needs volunteers with the willingness to solicit and obtain contributions for The Cara Program!
7. Cara needs a Senate vote.
8. Care needs sex like she needs to be skinnier.

Okay, I stop with that one. I must need to really go work out and have some sex. Off to the gym!


Weezie said...

BWAAHAAAA! I couldn't get past the first 3 of mine.
1. The first one was a poem called, "Jan Needs a Man"
Jan is just an old rock-in-roll fan
She has a problem catching a man
This girl will get one any way she can
She wound up with an over cooked tan
So she sprayed herself vigorously with Pam
Now she has a fragrance of burnt ham
She’s even cooling her body with her fan
Her odor floating around the neighborhood has caused an air pollution ban
She had a blind date with a man
But she found out his heart belongs to a fellow named Sam
Jan’s appearance is just fine from a moving van
Jan just can’t understand
She sleeps all day, and at night roams the land
Looking for a Fred, a Bob, an Ed, or even a Dan
She wouldn’t care if he were as skinny as a rubber band
Or if he were as fat as a beached whale span
Sadly, no man wants to hold her hand
She met a guy named Ron, but he just turned around and ran
Poor Jan just placed her ear phones in and listened to her favorite rock band
Then she dug a hole and stuck her head in the sand.

Ron Axelson
© 4/30/05

2. The second one was, "Jan needs help. Rookie."

3. The third one says, "Jan needs to go away".

OH. MY. Should I be getting a complex or something? LOL

For fun, I tried "Weezie needs" with equally funny results...
1. Weezie needs a host.
2. Weezie needs to work on her patience.
3. The last thing Weezie needs is the complication of an old boyfriend who's the hot new chef in town.

Things that make you go hmmmmm....

Bobbie said...

Bobbie Needs:
1. more time and understanding.
2. cash for new bras
3. to go on mama's diet.
4. a shampoo
5. a hysterectomy
6. to be a little less serious and have more fun.
7. to give that girl a raise.
8. a special touch from the great physician.
9. him
10. everyones prayers and thoughts.

This was interesting.

Liz said...

Oh, Stacy. This just about killed me, too. Not only does Liz apparently need a lot of seems mainly she needs one in particular...

1) Liz needs a MAN!
2) Liz needs catchy slogan
3) Liz needs to devise a budget and stick to it
4) Liz needs to be laundered (say what?!)
5) Liz needs to put a lid on it!
6) Liz needs a MAN!
7) Liz needs a MAN Liz needs to satisfy one person... herself LIZ NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM LUCKY (oh my...)
8) Liz needs to mine her own business!
9) Liz needs to concentrate on her own relationship and stop butting in
10) Steve is really a private investigator, and that's just what Liz needs right now

Sherilyn said...

hhmph. Doesn't work with Sherilyn. No big surprise there.

I did find blog of some right wing nut job who apparently shares my moniker. ;)

And an acting critique of Sherilyn Fenn.

Veronica in Aus said...

1. Veronica needs a diary
- seems simple enough.
2. Veronica needs to stop seeing her daughter as evidence that she was suckered.
Alrighty - didn't know I had a daughter, but there you go...
3. Veronica needs to work on the stakeout skills
True, I suppose. I guess they are a little rusty
4. Veronica needs to uncover clues about her past to figure out her future
Wow - that's deep!
5.Veronica needs to not answer her phone
That works for me :)
6. Veronica needs to find the crooked man who faked the sports teams' annual drug tests
7. Veronica needs to go
But I just went....I suppose I could go again
8. Veronica needs new people
That can be remedied ;)
9. Veronica needs to find their daughter
There's that daughter again...
10. Veronica is a member of the National, New York State, and Orange County Association of Realtors. Call Veronica for all of your Real Estate needs
Well there you go - I often thought I'd be good at Real Estate ;)

That was fun :)

Dani said...

Wow....mine are really weird.

Dani needs to do something new, exciting that will serve her well later
Dani needs the love, support and discipline that only two parents provide
Dani might need an O&M Evaluation
Dani needs to know she can trust him and feel safe with him, and that he trusts her!
Dani needs her
Dani needs revenge
Dani needs to write her mom off and move on with her life.
Dani needs more participants in her write
Dani needs better conditioning
Dani needs to find a horn player

Yah, those are pretty interesting....pretty funny, too. Haha, Mom, looks like I need to write you off! And what's an O&M Evaluation??

Amber said...

1. Amber needs to borrow a bikini from Jo but she can’t find it in her drawer.
2. The Amber needs analysis supports the Adviser in calculating any shortfalls in
cover the customer may have.
3. Amber needs an experienced and understanding home.
4. Amber needs two-to-three hours of therapy a day to overcrome autism.
5. Amber needs to go and, as the toilet is locked, she pees a lake. This particular result is a VERY disturbing website. EWWW!
7. Amber needs a parent.
8. Amber needs it now. LOL
9. Amber needs to lose a few pounds.No kidding!
10. Amber needs to see the light on her own.

Anonymous said...

Apparently there is a musician named Kris Needs, so I ended up on another blog of a Kris who had already done this! Here is the list she published, including her comment at the end:

• Kris needs to say thank you
• Kris needs to change his name, mow the yard while Betsy throws quarters at him
• Kris needs a posse of five
• Kris needs MONEY to fight off the lawsuits
• All Kris needs now is Best Actress award and she’d have done it all
• Kris needs to be popped in the mouth now and then
• Kris needs volunteers
• Kris needs to think before she speaks!
• Kris needs just one
• Due to imbalanced energy, Kris needs more rest during this tension-filled cycle
• I think Kris needs to spend a little less time in the Liberal Arts/Humanities department
• Kris needs help
• Kris needs to do these weird therapy techniques
• Kris needs a female R&B singer to spice up a hook on a few songs
• Kris needs to know at the beginning of h[er] journey, the answers to his questions: Who are the visitors? Where do they come from?
• I do, however, think that Kris needs her own weblog

And now, back to reality, Kris needs to go make dinner!

Kris in TX

Diana in KS said...

I love it Stacy! My sister has this on her blog, except you search "Stacy is ..." I did that with my name and got some hilarious ones. I'll have to try it as "needs". I'm enjoying your blog!!

Karen said...

Karen Needs to Grow Up!

Karen Needs a New Job.

Karen Needs A Lobotomy.

Karen needs to learn how to compliment her workers.

Karen needs to have full carbohydrate. stores, and be well hydrated.

Karen needs additional time for laundry and changing bed linen.

Karen needs care and supervision twenty-fours hours a day

Karen needs to learn how to speak up for herself!

Karen needs money to buy the roller skates she desperately

Karen needs a hairstyle that requires minimal styling.

Karen needs a rest.

Karen needs to use the bathroom.

Karen needs to tell her mom straight out to stop prying.

Karen needs the money for the mentoring pizza.

Karen needs to get out of Clayborne quickly.

Karen needs someone to hold chimpy still while she rearranges his kneecaps.

Karen needs a break.