I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. It's a question I've never had a solid answer for. When I was younger, I thought I'd grow up and be a radio disc jockey. In fact, my first college major was RTVF. Then I realized that my real passion was writing, so I switched my major to English. But when people would ask, "Are you going to be a teacher?", I'd curl my lip and say, "NO WAY. I don't like kids." I thought it would be cool to be a photojournalist and work for National Geographic. But I never had any definite career plans.
Some of my friends knew exactly what they wanted to be. Brent would be an architect. Sherilyn always talked of being a nurse. Dale wanted to be an artist, and grew up to be founder and CEO of his own special effects studio. But me? I never had a clue. I only knew that I wanted to get out of my small Texas town and into the big world. I knew I wanted to be a career girl with money and lots of friends. I knew I didn't want to be a stay-at-home Mom.
This morning, I woke up and surprised the boys with Cookie Crisp cereal for breakfast, then set up their favorite game on the computer. They took turns playing, and while one played, the other snuggled with me under a big, comfy afghan on the couch. I spent the entire day snuggling and watchin Nickelodeon. I didn't even get dressed until it was time to pick Dani up from school, and neither did the boys.
When I recounted my day to Darren tonight, I said, "I don't even feel guilty for being lazy all day. THe boys loved it. I'm a good Mom."
"That's the kind of thing that will stick with them," he said. "And you ARE a good Mom!"
I gotta admit, I am.
I never thought I wanted to be a career Mom.
I never thought it would suit me.
Turns out, this is what I wanted to be all along, I just didn't know it yet.