Thursday, December 08, 2005

I am not a nerd

...no matter WHAT my friends might say. HMPF. But I'll probably never live this entry down, and will be forevermore branded Nerd Of All Time, 'cause I'm about to wax antarctic about the weather.

It's COLD. Oh, my friends, the weather outside is indeed frightful. But there's no delightful fire to speak of, although the electric heater aiming into my scrap room sure is doin' a good job. Too bad I'm sitting in the other room cursing the draft that's coming in through the front door. As I type, it's 17 (yes, SEVENTEEN) degrees outside. Inside, judging by the T.H.O. factor, it's hovering somewhere around 46. Yowza.

Some of you - the ones who live in uninhabitable places like Minnesota and Michigan and Wisconsin - are no doubt shaking your heads and calling me a crybaby. Go ahead. I hope your tears freeze to your eyelashes. See? I'm so cold I can't even make sense. Who's crying now?

I am a TEXAN. My warm blood is not accustomed to this. Just this past Saturday, a mere FIVE days ago, I was out stringing lights on the house, wearin' a t-shirt and no shoes. I was sweaty. We broke a record that day for high temperature on December 3 - ninety degrees. I'm not a big fan of math, but even *I* can tell you that's a difference of - wait. Hold on. Gotta activate the computer's calculator - a difference of 73 degrees. That can't be normal. What happened to global warming??

I discovered an amazing phenomenon today. Did you know that when it's THIS COLD out, even if you feel warm, some of you is not? Did you know that when you touch the fatty parts of your body - say, your THIGH, or the cottage cheese on your butt cheek - that they're COLD to the touch? Yup. My arms, though exposed to the frigid air, feel room temperature. But my THIGH, snuggled up inside paint-splattered green sweatpants, feels cold. Amazing.

Tonight, I'm sleeping in socks. THAT is nerdy.

7 comments:

Terri G said...

"What happened to Global Warming??" Hysterical!

I feel your pain sister! I'm freezing my tush off and I don't like it either.

Karen said...

no not a nerd but a whimp! not really, i opened the door yesterday and my breathe was taken aways from me, it was that stinkin cold... And to think we were really thinking about going to Chicago for Christmas... instead of Florida. i do not have a coat THAT thick.

Nancy D. said...

Stacy....

I totally agree. It was 31 degrees the other morning when I took K to school. VW temp said 45 when we pulled out of the garage. We watched the numbers go down in the mile to school....

YES. SEVENTEEN IS COLD.

Totally with you on that....

Sue said...

You are not a nerd.

But you are a wussy.

LOL

Kim said...

Laughing my cold cottage cheese butt cheeks right off. Toughen up WOMAN!

Cara said...

Okay, first of all, you ARE a nerd!! Second, I have noticed the cold fat phenomenon too! Third, yes we Texans have been whinning about 90 degree weather in December but 17 degrees is unbearable unless you are snug in your bed! AND...we cannot drive on ice worth a darn!

Veronica in Aus said...

Just socks??? :D

That does sound cold - would you kill me if I said the sun is shinning and it will be a lovely 29C/84F today?? :)