Wednesday, March 11, 2009

you found me

I'd heard this song before, but until Monday, I'd never paid much attention to the lyrics. Somehow, the first words caught my attention that day, and I found myself listening, intrigued, hanging on every word as I drove Dani to work.

I found God On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west Was all but won
All alone Smoking his last cigarette
I said, Where you been? He said, Ask anything.

In my mind, I pictured the Marlboro man, silhouetted as he leaned with his back against a light pole, cigarette dangling between two fingers, his chin low, almost touching his chest. He looked out the top of his eyes, his focus grazing the brim of his traveled hat, as a young man made known his questions.
Where were you When everything was falling apart?
All my days Were spent by the telephone
That never rang And all I needed was a call
It never came To the corner of First and Amistad.
I've been there... waiting for the rescue, for the answer, and wondering why it never came.

[Chorus]
Lost and insecure You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late You found me, You found me

At this point, I started anticipating the lesson, the answer to the questions, the resolution.

In the end Everyone ends up alone
Losing her The only one who’s ever known
Who I am Who I’m not, and who I want to be
No way to know How long she will be next to me

[Chorus]
Early morning The city breaks
I’ve been calling For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve Taking all I want

I love this verse, especially the last 10 words.I love that God allows us to rant and rave and demand answers and to wag our finger in the air and tell him He's got some kind of nerve. I love that He's big enough to take it, and real enough to understand my need for it, and gracious enough to love me through it. As the song continued, just like in real life, I grew impatient for the reasoning, the answer, the resolution. I was sure it was coming in the next verse.

Lost and insecure You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor Where were you, where were you?
Lost and insecure You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait? Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late You found me, You found me
Why’d you have to wait To find me, to find me?

It didn't come; the song ended with the same questions. For a half a second, I was annoyed that the lyricist didn't wrap the story up with a neat little bow and call it a day. But as soon as that fleeting emotion died, I celebrated that it was left open-ended. It makes the song so much more meaningful.

And isn't that the way it is in life anyway? Do we ever really know WHY God does what He does? Is it ever our RIGHT to know? Job never knew. He suffered for reasons that he NEVER had a clue about. I'm sure he asked the same questions.

In the end, "You found me."That's all that really matters, isn't it?That IS the resolution. The reasoning is irrelevant.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

5 comments:

Dani said...

I would just like to say that *I* was the one driving YOU to work, and that *I* said I loved the song and you should listen to it. I take full credit for this revelation.

Kris with a K said...

Thank you DANI! lol! Funny, I was just talking about this to someone: I try to stop myself from dwelling in a 'poor me' and remember what God said to Job (after Job let it all out and railed at God)... who the heck am I to demand an answer from God? Who do I think I am, that I should know His thinking? It's all about the trust, and full trust often involves not knowing WHY, but following anyway.

tosin said...

So true, so painful. I have had that verse taped up on my monitor for as long as I can remember. It's the only way I've gotten through the last decade.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU FOR MY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG!!!

lOVE, bot

Guitarlover24 said...

Ohh, That was so awwesome! No I didn't know that song and it sounds great, but I loved the point of view you gave. You're right He did suffer for things he didn't understand. I remember him asking God why has thy forsaken me? Thank You Stacy K.