Wednesday, October 08, 2008

diagnosis: grim

See the two red lines? That's where the fractures are. They're healing perfectly. Nothing to worry about.

Now, see those two circles? Take a look at the one on the left. Notice the vertical black space between the two bones. That's my healthy left foot.
Compare that space to the one on my right foot. See how the space is wider and longer? That's bad. It's a torn ligament. What's worse is, the reason the gap is so wide is because the other 4 metatarsals are sliding off to the right, away from my big tone bone. That's very bad. As the podiatrist said, "We're dealing with a substantial injury here. This is serious."
Then he had a Come To Jesus meeting with me.
Under no circumstances am I to put any weight or pressure on the foot - for FIVE MORE WEEKS. That means no walking, no standing, no stepping for balance, no driving, no kickball (ha!), and get this - no placing my foot on the ground when I'm sitting. NO STRESS WHATSOEVER.
There's no magic that will pull those bones back to where they're supposed to be; our only hope is that they don't slip further apart. It's imperative that I stay off of it. The doctor conferred with one of his surgeons today, who agreed that if it separates a fraction more, it'll require surgery. They'll recheck it in two weeks to see if it's continuing to slide. "Trust me," he said. "You do not want a bone fusion in your foot at 39." It would mean a lifetime of painful and limited walking. As it is, this injury alone could nag me forever. Told ya it was grim news. At least it doesn't hurt much anymore.
He prescribed a wheelchair. I wonder if I can borrow one instead of paying high rent for one?
Looks like I'll be learning real fast how to get over myself and lose some pride. I'll be asking for help. I won't be trying to sweep the kitchen myself, or throw a load of laundry in myself, or walk around in my boot - however carefully - ever again. I owe it to my family to let this thing heal so they don't have to deal with months of recovery instead of weeks. And I owe it to myself, damn it.
Over the last several months, so many things had started coming together in my personal life. One, my health was under control and I'd lost 60 pounds. Suddenly, I can't walk anymore, or dance, which were my two main forms of cardio. I've got to figure out a new workout strategy that doesn't involve my feet. Any suggestions?
And two, I'd finally conquered my intense dislike for housework and devised a system that was working for me. My house was staying CLEAN, and the laundry was never piled up. Even though Darren and the kids have taken over all of my former chores, it still realllllly pisses me off that all those months of hard work and getting things in order are going up in smoke. You know the saying... "If you want it done right, do it yourself"? I have to accept the fact that since I can't do it myself, I have to be content with how it's being done.
For someone as active as I am, being immobile has been torture. Five weeks seems like a lifetime, but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel. I can do it. What's harder for me is this: I have to swallow my pride and ask for help. I can't keep using my foot, and Darren can't keep carrying the extra load by himself. Neither can Dani. We need outside help. That's the hardest thing I've ever had to admit.


Kris with a K said...

OH, dagnabbit! I am so, so sorry!! Check your email, darlin.

The Stopper Family said...

So sorry to hear that its so tough for you. I hope the city gets a big 'ol bill for this!!

Do you have access to an indoor pool. Once you get there, which obviously means walking from the locker room, its a great cardio workout with zero pressure on your foot.

Judy said...

(((((Stacy))))) I wish I was closer to you. I'd be there to help out in a flash.

Colleen said...

Oh Stacy! What a blow! This is a time to rejoice in the fact that you are such a lovable character with a gazillion friends!! We can all chip in and help. Put me down for a day next week. My parents are here right now, but will probably leave Mon or so. I was in a wheelchair once for 8 weeks, so I KNOW what you are going through! It definitely changes your life for a while...

Karen Kroner said...

Well my sweet friend, it just so happens that I have a free day or two each week. I can help out and we can catch up!! I even do laundry and rather well... I even like to mop.. So if you need me please let me know..

DKelly said...

Well, DANG! I know you're bummed about this but the thing to stay focused on is "HEAL THYSELF" which really only means "discipline thyself to be still so taht God can heal you." You know you have to take csre of you in order for God to do that. But I know it's a comeuppance to your spontaneous spirit to.just.sit. And just remember that where Satan wants to use this to bum you out, God will use it for good if you let him. Easier said than done, I know, but I'm trying to encourage you here. I wish I was closer and could take a day to come help and chat and make you laugh until you wanted to roll in the floor. Our boys could play outside and you'd be GLAD you're stuck in a wheelchair so that you didn't have to run after 'em.

Hang in there Stace! Love ya friend!


IStandAmazed said...

Hey girl! Give me a call whenever you need help. I can bring the girls over to help. Tabitha knows how to wash, dry, and fold laundry. Emily knows how to unload and load a dishwasher. Tiffany can probably help me or keep the boys busy. Let me know what you need!

Rhonda said...

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I broke my 5th metatarsal in 1993. One year later I had surgery to fuse it. It only hurts occasionally. Extreme pain maybe once a year. I can run, jump, play not much has changed for me. I do need to try both shoes on when buying a new pair because my right foot has a slight bump where my bones are fused. Follow doctors orders and stay off that foot. Ask for help, don't worry about the housework not being done the way you would. Before you know it, you will be walking again and hopefully all will be normal again. Good luck. Rhonda in NJ

CloverGirl said...

Thank God for a wonderful family and great friends. I know you will be blessed with lots of helpers, just as you would be first in line to help them.

If I was closer, I'd come wheel you around the neighborhood and eat some nuts with you.

Take it easy. STAY OFF YOUR FOOT. I will await a good update in two weeks.

Char said...

Oh that does suck! I have been off because I fractured my ankle on labour day weekend. Just being able to put pressure on it now. You realize how much you depend on your feet when you cant use them!
Stay off it and the news will not be so grim come 2 weeks.
Char (scrpbkngal)

sandi said...

Stacy, I've been thinking about you and wondering how you were. I'm sorry about the bad news. Do you feel like scrapbooking? :-) I've missed all your beautiful pages.

Since your dr. prescribed a wheelchair, will insurance pay for a rental? My mom's church has a supply of wheelchairs, walkers, potty chairs, hospital beds, etc. that they loan free of charge. Maybe you can find something like that. It used to be called the Cancer Cupboard.

I'm praying for you!
sandi (tnsoccermom)

Amanda said...

Stacy, I'm so sorry you've had such bad news. You do have an awesome support network up there. Let them help. {{{{HUGS}}}}

Jackietex said...

That sucks and I'm sorry! I wish I were your neighbor. I will lift your foot and family in prayer.

Menjiness said...

OH my heck Stacy! I so wished I lived closer. So now it is time to start working on your upper body. Time to get those arms in shape.

Jayne said...

Man - that is tough! {{{hug}}} Put that foot up and keep it up girl!

~~Carrie Ann said...

Oh, Stacy...that sucks! Big time! :( I am praying first, for healing! Complete and total healing! Second, I'm praying that you can put your pride aside and get the help you need. I know it's hard. But God has blessed you with family and friends who love you. And I'm sure they are anxious to bless you and your family the way you bless theirs!

You will dance again. Focus on the big picture. Complain and gripe now, and then move forward.

I'm praying for you! And if I didn't live an ocean away, I'd be there to bug out! :)

Diana. in Maryland. said...

You can do this. As you said, you owe it to your family. But Stacy, darlin', you owe it to yourself as well.

HUGS! You can do this!

Ramblings of a crazed SAHM said...

I second all the comments...

As for working out check with your doctor, or a PT. The resistance bands (there sort of like huge rubber bands) would be great at working your upper body.
Swimming is great, but you'd have to move your foot, so maybe not just yet. Good luck! We'll be praying for you!

Denise said...

Shoot Stacy - wish I lived closer, I'd help out even though I hate housework too! We'd make it fun together! Prayers for your healing - both mental and physical! :)

ArlaMo said...

Hey Stacy,

DH just looked at the x-ray and without telling him anything about the circumstances, he said you definitely need surgery. I might get a second opinion, if I was you.

Hope you are doing well!


Joni said...

Oh, girl, I SO know how you feel! I broke my ankle when I was 6.5 months along with my last baby (who is now 13!). I had a cast for two weeks, then was told I would need surgery to repair it, and wore a cast for six more weeks, got back on my feet just a couple weeks before the baby was born.

I'll tell you...laying around and depending on others drove me NUTS. I learned alot though and I have a few stories to share with you...maybe I'll call you sometime soon> There's one I just have to tell you about the cobweb that I watched the WHOLE time I was laid up, and how...once I got healed up and was able to do get at that thing myself, the joy I felt was enormous!

I learned alot, though, some of it I sure didn't understand at the time. I now have much more empathy for people who see far too much of the same four walls for way too long at a time.

I remember asking my husband to take me out, anywhere, just to go. I was hugely pregnant and it wasn't easy getting down the steps to the car...but I was so desperate, I'm sure you know what I mean?

I miss reading when you don't get to blog, and I sure wish I was closer to you to help out! {{HUGS}}

Talk to you soon! Joni-MI

Anonymous said...

Okay, it has been two weeks, what news have you heard?