Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Weigh-in: Month 4
Ladies and gentlemen, this is 7 gallons of milk.
It's fortified. With vitamins. It's pasteurized. I love it! It's ho...mo....gonized. Oh I love my milk!
(Sorry. It's just that random songs from my past pop into my head ALL the time. If I always bothered to tell you about the songs in my head, you'd be scared of me - so I don't.)
Yesiree. Seven gallons of milk, at roughly 8 pounds per gallon... well, you do the math. 56 pounds of milk, equal to the 55 pounds I've lost, plus the one pound I shed trying to finagle 7 gallon jugs into my hands.
Speaking of finagling....
I was standing there, minding my own business, smiling pretty for the camera, when that rogue jug in my left hand - the one on top - started trying to escape. The problem was, I had that one hooked on my thumb, and if you've ever seen my hands, you know that I have stubby thumbs. It's one of the reasons I could never master anything other than the G chord on guitar. When it started slipping, I hollared, "Help! Slipping, slipping!". Dani, in a flash of brilliance, ran the other way.
She was getting the grocery cart, which was a few feet behind her, but I didn't know that. So I yelled louder, "HEY!! HELP ME!" All of a sudden, BOOM! The jug hit the concrete floor with a splat, splitting wide open and gurgling vitamin D all over the place. In that same nanosecond, a man came running from behind and took the jug tucked under my right arm. Turns out, Dani snapped a picture of him moments before. Look closely, and you'll see him. I thanked the guy, but he looked at me like I was a loony tune and continued on his way.
It was then that I really thought about it. What must people have thought, walking past while a crazy woman off her rocker enough to wear orange pants struggled to juggle 7 gallons of milk, when her grocery cart is a mere 5 feet away? And then, what kind of weirdo poses for a PHOTO with those 7 jugs of milk??
A woman who's lost 55 pounds, that's who.
And fifty-five pounds, my friends... WORD TO THE MOMMAS. That's a lot of spilled milk!
Labels: weight loss journey