Tuesday, July 22, 2008

It works for me!

People keep saying to me, "You're so strong! How are you doing it? What's your secret? How do you stay motivated? Teach me how to have your willpower!"

Here are my answers:
"I'm not strong. I've never had willpower. I'm no different that I was every other time I tried to lose weight. My secret? It's gonna sound hokey, but it's the only truth: this time, I asked God to take me on this journey.

It all started when I decided to audition for The Biggest Loser. At the time, I was convinced that being pushed physically and mentally in front of a huge audience was the only thing that would work for me. I gave 100% of myself to the making of that audition tape and then, realizing that I could do no more, I gave it to God. Literally, I packaged it up, sealed it, and as I dropped it at the post office, I gave it to Him. "It's in your hands now. I give it to you - the outcome, whatever it may be, I will accept as Your will."

Immediately, I knew that I didn't need the show to lose the weight. By this time, having gone through the emotional journey of finding a willing partner, of filling out the application, and of creating the video, I realized that it wasn't just the weight loss I wanted - it was that I wanted my life back in EVERY aspect. For me, that meant that my journey would be much more than a physical one - it also needed to be emotional, mental and spiritual.

And those are the precise reasons I'd never asked God to help me before. Asking him to help me stick to a diet would've meant that I had to actually give it my all. I've never been ready to do that before, because so much of my weight problem and the bad habits that contributed to it were based in emotional weakness, and my eating habits were my way of covering that up - of dealing with it - of literally stuffing it down. As much as I hated them, my habits and the weight were a comfort to me, and I wasn't willing to let go.

But on a bright spring day last March, I gave it all up. I don't know exactly WHAT brought me to that point, but I knew I was there, and I knew that I couldn't put it off. I was ready to give it all, and to accept the gift of grace and promise in return. I'd never felt more safe in my life as I did the moment I surrendered all control.

So. My strength? My willpower? It's not my own. I'm not one who can turn down a chocolate eclair. I don't have what it takes to pass by Sonic without stopping for a Vanilla Diet Coke. I've never believed in myself enough to make a diet plan and expect to stick to it. I've never had enough self worth to walk into an exercise class without worrying what other people saw and thought. But the fact is, I HAVE passed up donuts, Sonic and potatoes. I've created a menu and new healthy lifestyle that I stick to, and I've joined exercise classes that I've been so blessed and inspired by that OTHERS have joined with me.

But let me tell you, and let me be clear:
I still don't have the strength, willpower, self worth, confidence and dedication that it takes to lose 150 pounds. But I'm well on my way to losing it; in fact, I'm over 1/3 of the way there. The only thing *I* have going for me is God, and my conviction that HE has enough strength, willpower, self worth, confidence and dedication to make up for my lack of each. He's carrying me through this. This I know for sure.

17 comments:

~~The Dr3sslers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~~Carrie Ann said...

I am rejoicing with you, sister! God is able to do it! You ARE amazing because you're a child of the king! :)

Karen said...

That is beautiful. Congratulations on your success!

jch said...

That's one of the most powerful testimonies I've heard in a while. I love the end, "let me tell you, and let me be clear..." Powerful. Very powerful. Keep sharing.

wildpippi said...

You ARE more powerful than you give yourself credit for, my friend.
You, with all of God's grace, are inspiring hundreds, if not thousands, of women like myself to live better lives and face their demons head-on.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us--I consider your testimony to be a wondrous gift.

Disney Scrapper said...

stacy this was beautiful. Isn't God amazing?

ArlaMo said...

Congratulations, Stacy!!

We had a lesson last night for Family Home Evening about how the Spirit of God is freedom. We asked the kids to come up with examples - we mentioned things like freedom from sin, freedom from addiction to drugs, etc.

I am adding your "freedom" to the list! Freedom from weaknesses and things we aren't capable of doing on our own.

Thanks so much for sharing, Stacy. You are an inspiration. And I'm pretty sure that was part of God's plan, too.

Anonymous said...

You go girl! You look awesome! There are a lot of us hout here cheering you on because we love you!!!!!

luvspaper

Karin said...

What a very powerful testimony and I couldn't agree more! That complete surrender is something I struggled with (some days I still do), but He can't work in us until we let Him. Once I chose to use my free will to surrender to His will, I was amazed.

You may not think you are an inspiration, but God is using you in so many ways and one of them has been to inspire me!

You go girl!

Kendra said...

This is such an amazing testimony Stacy!!!

I've been missing your blog and am so happy that you haven't given it up with all those other unhealthy habits!!!

Keep up the good work. God is with you!

Midnite Scrapper said...

Stacy, thank you for writing this. I know that God had you write it for ME. Yes, others can come and comment, but it was for me. It's also something I've known all along. I wanted things to be "fixed", but I knew that meant I had to give it all to Him 100%. It's kind of like when I don't want to repent from something 'cause I'm just not sure that I mean it yet. When you promise (or ask) God, you've gotta mean business. I am ready now to face the truth. Thank you for the reminder.

Terri G. said...

You are such an inspiration Stacy!

Kris with a K said...

SO HAPPY to see you back in Blogland!! Huggy, huggy, huggy!!

Can't wait to hug even less of you soon! Have you considered a little trip to Shreveport the first weekend in September???

Dang, I love ya, girl!

Susan said...

Stacy, I am sitting here in tears. This is so beautifully expressed. I was laying in bed just a bit ago, praying that God would help me continue on my journey and asking Him what was different this time that I was able to keep going......and I came here and saw your post!! God is soooo good!!! I know I have told you that you are my inspiration but, as you, God is the strength behind the mission!!

Anonymous said...

YOU'RE BACK!!! I've missed your blog so much. To see what God is doing in and through your life was certainly worth the wait. I'm so proud of how you have given this over to Him and I know the best is yet to come!!
Big hugs~
Beverly in Odessa

Nancy said...

I'm so glad that you decided to come back!!!
How do you let go and let God have control? I'll tell myself that I'm giving something to God but I don't think I really know how to let Him have it.
Nancy (aka Scamper)

Cynthia said...

Stacy, I know its been forever since you've posted this on your blog, but it's been on my mind ever since. It clicked with me, I have given God everything else in my life, why couldn't I give this to him too. So while I didn't immediately join you on that day. I did on Jan. 20th this year. I walk almost every day. I watch what I eat, and my doctor said to keep my calories between 1600-1800. But I can't do it without him. Some days are so difficult, I have to give them to him. I wanted to let you know about a bible study I started this past week. It's called Uncommon Vessels, and you might enjoy it. It might help in the times that it might become difficult again. You're such an inspiration, not just in this weight loss, but in how you live your life to the fullest. Thank you for your blog.